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| Pecan Pie -- One of my faves! |
Hello! Merry Christmas! I hope y'all have all had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas like we have. In fact, we are still recovering from all of the celebrating!
I have to admit that right before Christmas I was feeling pretty down on myself for all of the over-eating I had been doing since, oh, Halloween. I definitely have not been watching what I eat, unless you consider watching it go in my mouth watching what I eat. And exercise? Who has time for that with all of the parties and gatherings and shopping and trying to fit in work in between everything else?
Suffice it to say I have had a pity party or two over all of this excess...as I stuffed in another cookie/piece of pie/slice of cheese/glass of wine!
But then I got this forward from my mother that made me feel all better...at least through the holidays. I wanted to share it before Christmas, but I didn't get a chance. Since it technically is still the holidays since we haven't hit the New Year yet, I thought I would still share it:
HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare... You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have
two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's
food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,
you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you
don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.
When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips;
start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this
motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Now, don't you feel better? I sure do! Now, go out and celebrate...then we can all get "back on the wagon" in January!
Or, if you want to get a jumpstart on your weightloss, you can do what I did and get a stomach bug. Those are always fun! And they come with the added benefit that you don't really feel like eating much for days!
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